Reflections

6-12-2009 {more old stuff :P}

Reflections


I struggle still, with God's love.
with anyone's love..

I know my family loves me.. I know He loves me.
Yet still I feel alone.

How can I say I do not love me, when He does.
Why do I not see beauty in His own creation.

Surely the animals I see.. that I find soo amazing and beautiful.. they do not stand before the water's edge and scorn the stripes on their fur, or the length of their tails.
Why must I?

Why do I look at one of His creations and feel such great love and adoration.. yet all joy fades when I behold his most cherished creation. me.
Why do I weep when someone makes the slightest display of love to me.

So consumed by sadness.. so broken inside and out.

Such a wretched and miserable child of His I am. Crying over petty feelings and physical complaints when he has done so much for me.

There is no answer to my questions. No cure to my faults.
I am as I have always been. Shattered.

Unable to recognize the face I see in the mirror. Wishing the reflection I once saw would return. But who am I kidding? I always hated that reflection....